


and it breaks my heart you know, but i think it's time to go

by theres_no_utopia



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hospitals, HyungHyuk - Freeform, I spent longer trying to decide on a title than I did on this summary, I'm bad at writing summaries, Illness, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Major Illness, One Shot, Romance, Sad, don't be fooled the angst is strong in this one, is the ending sad? who knows, kpop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 01:19:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15425874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theres_no_utopia/pseuds/theres_no_utopia
Summary: “Hyungwon…” Minhyuk bit down on his lip once more, trying to stop himself from crying. “I’m sorry.”“Everyone’s sorry Minhyuk. That's all everyone says to me.”-Three times Minhyuk went to the hospital's rooftop.





	and it breaks my heart you know, but i think it's time to go

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt for this was items I saw around me, which were camera, fairy lights, rooftop and blanket.

1.

They met up once again on the rooftop.

The sun was beginning to set as the two males made their way up the forgotten steps that led to the rooftop of the hospital, painting the sky a brilliant shade of orange. The wind had begun to fade away long ago with nothing but a whisper of its presence remaining. The temperature was still warm and didn’t require jackets to be won however, the two males still brought a precautionary blanket up with them.

Minhyuk carefully place his bag on the faded park bench that had long ago been brought up to the hospital’s rooftop and forgotten. A lot of things tended to be forgotten at that hospital, left to just fade away. It was a forgotten place for most but to Minhyuk and Hyungwon, it was where memories were made.

Minhyuk turned his body towards his companion, smirking at the other male as their eyes locked with one another’s.

Hyungwon was a lanky boy who’s features contrasted with Minhyuk’s. Both males were tall and slim with Hyungwon being slighter taller than Minhyuk and quite a bit skinnier too. This made the bones underneath the other man's skin seem more noticeable, giving Hyungwon a frail appearance. Hyungwon’s hair was its natural colour, a dark shade of brown that was soft and healthy to the touch, unlike Minhyuk’s dry bleached, white hair. Despite his frail appearance and the dark circles that rested under Hyungwon’s brown eyes, Minhyuk still thought Hyungwon was beautiful.

“Come on,” Minhyuk began, motioning fo Hyungwon to come closer. “Let’s get started.”  


Hyungwon nodded with a small smile filling his features. He shuffled closer to Minhyuk, cradling a camera in one hand with a blanket slung over his other arm. Hyungwon was often a patient at that hospital. Minhyuk happened to have met him a year ago during his experience at that hospital.

Minhyuk had been seriously injured in a car accident he didn’t cause but had managed to heal enough to leave the hospital after three months. Hyungwon had also been a patient during that time and had befriended Minhyuk happily, often sneaking out of his own room to keep Minhyuk company on those lonely nights in hospital. Minhyuk was grateful for Hyungwon’s support and and would never forget the night the other male comforted him when his hip pain had sparked up again (due to Minhyuk attempting get up to by himself and miserably failing). Hyungwon wasn’t in hospital for the entirety of Minhyuk’s stay but had continued to visit Minhyuk. While Minhyuk got away with occasional visits to the hospital for check ups and only experienced some pain when he strained his body to much, Hyungwon was often readmitted.

Minhyuk quickly unzipped his backpack, reaching a hand in and pulling out an item he had managed to sneak into the hospital. Hyungwon’s smile widened upon seeing the fairy lights. Hyungwon had taken an interest in photography a few months ago, resulting in him often asking Minhyuk to model for him, both inside and outside the hospital. Hyungwon greatly preferred taking photos outside of the walls of the hospital but during his sicker moments, he would sadly accept taking photos inside of the hospital. Minhyuk was always happy to model for him.

“I think we might have to untangle them a bit first.” Hyungwon said, a soft laugh leaving his lips. Hyungwon’s laugh was the type of laugh that was infectious and never failed to make Minhyuk laugh too.

Minhyuk’s laugh faded away as his eyes travelled down towards the old fairy lights. He ran his fingers along the mess of wires and globes, acknowledging that the fairy lights were truly in need of an untangling session.

“They shouldn’t take that long to untangle.” Minhyuk answered, sitting down on the park bench and motioning for Hyungwon to do the same.

Hyungwon sat down on the bench next to Minhyuk, draping the blanket over his legs with great hesitancy. The nurses were always persistent about that and never failed to remind Minhyuk to make sure Hyungwon has something to keep him warm. It was always a thought in Minhyuk’s mind whenever they left the prison that was Hyungwon’s room.

“You do realise that they take a while to untangle,” Hyungwon commented, “Have you never had to untangle Christmas lights before? It always used to drive me mad as a kid.”

Minhyuk let out a laugh. “I can’t say I have but how hard can it be, Hyungwon?”

 

-

 

After almost half an hour of the two of them struggling to untangle the wires, the fairy lights were finally free of tangles. Minhyuk regretted underestimating the severity of the task.

The sun had receded further down into the horizon, taking its warm orange glow with it. Hyungwon had started shivering as the warmth of the day was leaving, prompting Minhyuk to go through his backpack and give Hyungwon the crumpled jumper he found in there. The other male’s smile had faltered somewhat, but he took the jumper and put it on without any resistance. Minhyuk suspected that Hyungwon liked wearing Minhyuk’s clothes.

“We’re finally done,” Hyungwon told Minhyuk. “Now do you understand the frustration that comes with untangling lights. I still don’t understand how there are some people out there who are good at it.”

Minhyuk nodded at Hyungwon, silently wondering how he had ever thought that untangling the fairy lights would be an easy task. The two of them had spent quite a lot of time untangling the lights and Minhyuk felt bad for his stupidity cutting down their time together

“Let’s get started,” Minhyuk told Hyungwon, standing up and reaching a hand out towards the brunette. “Before the nurses come to fight me.”

Hyungwon let out a small laugh, reaching his hand out to let Minhyuk pull him up. He spent twenty minutes taking photos of Minhyuk holding the lights, carefully framing planned shots and laughing at the candid photos. The sun had continued to disappear into the horizon as the weather grew cooler. Despite the change in weather, Hyungwon’s soft laugh continued to make Minhyuk’s chest feel warm on the inside.

Minhyuk had looked up from the screen of Hyungwon’s camera when he felt the other male press his lips softly against his own. The kiss was everything Minhyuk had ever dreamed of and was what he had always wanted to do. Minhyuk had always held himself back however, in fear of getting Hyungwon sick.  Hyungwon’s illness caused his own body to attack itself, landing the male with an extremely bad immune system and resulting in him being more susceptible to common illnesses.

Minhyuk recalled the first time he met Hyungwon. He had been exploring the hospital, still stuck in a wheelchair with a broken leg and hips. He had managed to get himself lost, travelling down hallways that all looked the same, dull in colour and smelling of antibacterial soap. Minhyuk had almost knocked Hyungwon over due to not paying attention to what was around the corner of the hallway. He had quickly apologised and Hyungwon laughed, saying that he didn’t have to apologise and asking if Minhyuk was lost. Minhyuk had admitted that he was indeed lost and the other male had offered to help him find his way back to his room. The two of them had engaged in conversation during their journey back to Minhyuk’s room and had formed a close friendship ever since.

Over time, Minhyuk found himself viewing Hyungwon in a different light. He caught himself staring at Hyungwon way longer than he should be and he greatly enjoyed his company. After six months of knowing Hyungwon, Minhyuk accepted that he liked him more than a friend should.

Minhyuk also recalled being lectured by countless nurses to not go near Hyungwon if he was sick and to always make sure he had washed his hands before going into Hyungwon’s room. The other male always managed to get sick very easily, causing Minhyuk’s fear of spreading any sort of bacteria or virus to Hyungwon.

For a moment, Minhyuk tried to push aside his fear and he let himself indulge in the kiss. It was _okay_ for him to have this, to kiss Hyungwon. Hyungwon’s lips were soft and his fingertips brushed against Minhyuk’s cheek lovingly. Hyungwon eventually pulled away from Minhyuk, his face beaming with a smile filling his features.  

“That was...wow.” Minhyuk found that he was unable to form words.

Hyungwon let out a soft laugh, as he reached out to hold Minhyuk’s hand. “You loved it so much it took your breath away?”

Minhyuk intertwined his fingers with Hyungwon’s, smiling like a highschool after their first ever kiss. “It was nice.” He shrugged, his smile turning into something more playful.

“Just nice?” Hyungwon asked with a smirk on his face.

Minhyuk rolled his eyes, letting out a laugh. “It was sensational, beautiful, breath-taking . What else do you want me to say?”

Hyungwon squeezed Minhyuk’s hand, making Minhyuk look at him. He seemed nervous all of a sudden. “I want you to say yes to going on a date with me...once I get out of here.” He added.

“Yes.”

Hyungwon looked taken aback. “I didn’t expect that you would agree so easily.”

A soft laugh escaped Minhyuk’s mouth. “Did you expect me to say no? I’m whipped for you Hyungwon.”

Hyungwon let out a soft laugh as he reached out to hold Minhyuk’s other hand. “You make me really happy.”

Minhyuk leaned his forehead against Hyungwon’s, his white bangs pressed against the other male’s skin. He _could_ have this. The chance of Hyungwon getting sick because of him couldn’t be as high as Minhyuk had always thought. He wanted to be by Hyungwon’s side and wake up next to him. He wanted to go on dates and kiss him again and again.

Hyungwon was a fighter. He had survived his first twenty years of life and Minhyuk wanted to believe that he could survive many more.

“I always will.” Minhyuk told him.

 

//

 

2.

 

A few months later, Minhyuk found himself climbing up the dirty steps that lead to the rooftop.

Usually Hyungwon would be by his side, talking about what he wanted to take photos of or chatting about whatever came to his mind. The two of them would reach the top of the forgotten stairs, often hand in hand and would be greeted by the warmth of the sun and a lovely breeze. This time however, the darkness of the night sky greeted a Minhyuk that carried a frail Hyungwon on his back.

Despite Hyungwon being light, Minhyuk could feel the weight straining his hips and back as he walked up the stairs. His legs had started shaking. He cursed at himself in his mind, wishing that was strong enough to hold both Hyungwon and himself up.

Minhyuk hated it all.

He hated the feeling a sense of hopelessness as he watched Hyungwon deteriorate. A few months was all it had taken for Hyungwon’s health to go spiralling downwards, taking Minhyuk’s happiness with it. He hated how Hyungwon had to keep staying in the hospital. Minhyuk’s visits to the hospital were almost a daily occurrence, especially after the night Minhyuk had to call the ambulance.

The events of that night were still so vivid to Minhyuk. Minhyuk and Hyungwon had stayed up that night, cuddling on Minhyuk’s bed while they watched movies. Once they had finished the third film on their list, they had stayed up later to do, well, _other things_ two people can do on a bed. Hyungwon had ended up staying the night, falling asleep with Minhyuk in his arms. Despite feeling absolutely exhausted, Minhyuk had woken up randomly during the night and had realised how cold the other male felt against him. A sense of fear had quickly taken a hold of Minhyuk, causing him to frantically try to wake Hyungwon up. Hyungwon wouldn’t wake up. Shallow breathing and the faintest of heartbeats was the only thing stopping Minhyuk from completely breaking down. The ambulance had come quickly after Minhyuk called and Minhyuk could do nothing but helplessly watch as paramedics but Hyungwon into the back of the ambulance.

The feeling of waking up and thinking that the person beside you could be gone was one of the worst feelings Minhyuk had ever felt in his life. That night still haunted him and it served at as painful reminder that Hyungwon wasn’t invincible. One day Minhyuk would wake up and Hyungwon would no longer be in this world.

Silence had filled the air as Minhyuk carried Hyungwon up the stairs. The weight of a needed conversation hanged over Minhyuk but he didn’t want to have that conversation. He didn’t want to have to look Hyungwon in the eye and say _that_ aloud. It was like saying it aloud would make it evidently true and Minhyuk couldn’t dodge the truth once it was out in the open and not just a thought in his head.

The nurses had been hesitant to let Hyungwon outside at night. It was clear however that they pitied him and had let him go with Minhyuk. Hyungwon had managed to walk from his room to the bottom of his staircase before stumbling, leading to Minhyuk carrying him on his back. Hyungwon was a lot lighter than he used to be.

The stars were not out, making the darkness of the night sky seem even more gloomy. It made Minhyuk feel suffocated.

He felt Hyungwon slide off his back and turned to let Hyungwon hold onto his arm. He lead Hyungwon to the familiar park bench and found himself quickly pulling his arm away once the other male was seated. That night at Minhyuk’s apartment caused his fear of Hyungwon catching something from to resurface, resulting in him avoiding touching him for too long.

Minhyuk noticed Hyungwon bite down on his bottom lip, both of them remained silent for a moment. The hurt was evident on Hyungwon’s face. Minhyuk turned his gaze away from Hyungwon’s, a sense of guilt building up in the pit of his stomach.

Hyungwon had asked Minhyuk to model for him again, asking him like it was the last time they would ever do it. The photoshoot that night wasn’t full of laughter or warmth like they usual ones were but rather it was full of the coldness of nighttime and a sad silence.

After only ten minutes, Hyungwon could no longer hide the fact that he was shivering. Minhyuk was quick to remove his own coat, placing it over the coat Hyungwon was already wearing. Hyungwon was so frail, so different to the boy Minhyuk had met all those months ago. Hyungwon had always been thin, but his arms now were as thin as sticks and just as fragile as twigs. His tan skin had become paler as well, losing it’s healthy glow and becoming like the dull coloured hospital.

Minhyuk hated watching as the guy he loved was slowly fading away.

Minhyuk sat down next to Hyungwon and for the first time that night, Hyungwon’s lips curved into a smile. The smile however, didn’t reach his eyes and couldn’t quite hide the sadness Hyungwon held inside of him.

He let out a soft cough, pulling himself closer to Minhyuk. His face was so close to Minhyuk’s and his soft breathing tickled Minhyuk’s face. “I really love you Minhyuk,” he began in a quiet voice, “I want to always remember that.”

**_I want you to always remember that._ **

Minhyuk felt a pain in his chest, Hyungwon’s words hit him straight in the heart. It was like he was almost acknowledging the unspeakable possibility Minhyuk wouldn’t dare say aloud without directly saying it.

Minhyuk could only nodd. He couldn’t bring himself to speak. His gaze travelled up, meeting with Hyungwon’s brown eyes. The younger male’s eyes were the only part of him that still held so much life and were looking at Minhyuk attentively and warmly. Minhyuk could sense a hint of longing in them too, a burning desire that was confirmed by Hyungwon’s quick glance at Minhyuk’s lips. Minhyuk was hit with the feeling of how much he missed Hyungwon. How much he missed going on dates with the other male, spending hours laughing together and he missed the feeling of Hyungwon’s lips against his. Minhyuk found himself leaning forward, not even aware of it at first until their noses were almost touching. Hyungwon was the one to close the gap between them and Minhyuk was unable to stop himself from doing what he missed so much.

The kiss was soft and gentle but it was obvious that Hyungwon more than just a brief peck on the lips after a month of being in the hospital and getting just that. Minhyuk knew it had been a long time since they had just made out.

He wanted to keep kissing Hyungwon but the fear, the same fear that always haunted Minhyuk, was crawling its way up his throat. With Hyungwon’s lips pressing harder against Minhyuk’s, longing and wanting, Minhyuk abruptly pulled away. He avoided Hyungwon’s gaze, knowing that he would be the cause of the pained expression the other male would be wearing.

A sniffle breaks the silence that had formed between them, causing Minhyuk to look up. Hyungwon’s eyes were glossy and it wasn’t long before the tears he was clearly trying to hold back started falling.

Minhyuk wanted to punch himself in the face.

He reached out an arm towards Hyungwon, stopping himself halfway before dropping his hand onto his lap. He had only seen Hyungwon cry once throughout the time he had met him. That one time was because of the night Minhyuk had tried to stand on his own and fell. Hyungwon had told him that he had felt so helpless that night because Minhyuk had been in so much pain and he was so upset because he could do nothing to ease his pain.

Minhyuk now knew how Hyungwon had felt that night.

“You can stop acting like touching me is going to cause me to break.” Minhyuk was surprised to hear Hyungwon speak.

He bit down on his lip, unsure of how to respond. “Hyungwon...I-I’m so sorry,” he answered, his voice shaking. “I don’t want to-”

“You don’t want to get me sick?” Hyungwon interrupted, “You’re scared of visiting me when you’ve got the slightest cough. You’re scared you’ll somehow pass something onto me if you don’t wash your hands. Your hands have become so rough Minhyuk.”

Minhyuk rubbed his hands together, noticing how his hands were dry and rough. His paranoia was so obvious.

Minhyuk remained silent. He couldn’t bring himself to even try to deny Hyungwon’s words. For months Minhyuk had tried to deny the possibility of Hyungwon passing away, pushing the thought to the back of his mind and putting on a smile to mask the fact that the thought had ever crossed his mind. As Hyungwon’s crying transitioned into sobbing, Minhyuk felt the weight of everything he tried to deny crash down on him

“I-I get it,” Hyungwon said, trying to choke back a sob. “I’m the person who everyone treats like glass. I’m the guy with the autoimmune disease. My body is attacking itself and there is nothing I can do about it.”

“Hyungwon…” Minhyuk bit down on his lip once more, trying to stop himself from crying. “I’m sorry.”

“Everyone’s sorry Minhyuk. That's all everyone says to me,” Hyungwon said before burying his face into his hands. “The nurses, my friends...everyone pities me and say that they’re sorry that I’m sick. Fuck even my own p-parents say it to me. Everyone walks on eggshells around me, like I’m going to break. Even you do Minhyuk.”

“The worse I get, the more everyone pulls away from me,” Hyungwon cried, “Especially you. You’re always here with me but sometimes...sometimes now it feels like you’re withdrawing from me. I miss you so much Minhyuk.”

Minhyuk’s mind finally switched on, resulting in him pulling the brunette into his arms. A part of him screamed at him to let go, to not be so close to Hyungwon. The white haired male pushed aside that stupid fear in favour of comforting Hyungwon. Hyungwon was his boyfriend, the guy who managed to wear a smile despite being sick for almost his entire life. Hyungwon was the one who comforted Minhyuk whenever they watched a sad film. He was the fighter out of the two of them and to see Hyungwon break down was breaking Minhyuk’s heart.

Minhyuk held onto Hyungwon’s body tighter, feeling terrible for making Hyungwon feel like this.

“I wish I was normal,” Hyungwon admitted, burying his head into Minhyuk’s shoulder as he continued to cry. “I wish I didn’t have to wake up everyday and think about whether it will be the last time I get to wake up.”

There it was. There was the thought that had crossed both of their minds, out in the open where Minhyuk was forced to face the possibility of it happening one day.

“It’s not…”it’s never the bad people who get struck down with illness,’ Minhyuk commented, bringing himself to say some of the thoughts that had crossed his mind over the past few months. He wanted to say _something_. Anything to help ease the pain Hyungwon had bottled up for years. “You don’t deserve this. Life’s a bitch and you’re the one who has to suffer while so many corrupt people get to live.”

Hyungwon was normal in Minhyuk’s eyes. Minhyuk hadn’t know why Hyungwon was in the hospital at first but the other male had eventually come clean and told him. It hadn’t changed who Hyungwon was as a person in Minhyuk’s eyes. He managed to be full of life and make others happy, despite receiving the worst life threw at him.

He was just simply Hyungwon.

“It’s always the good people who suffer, Minhyuk.” Hyungwon’s breathing slowed down and his sobs had gone back to sniffles. “Like look at you. The first time we met you were in a wheelchair with broken bones because of someone who was speeding in a stolen car.”

“Exactly,” Minhyuk responds, locking his eyes with Hyungwon’s. “You’re so strong Hyungwon. You don’t let the fact that your sick consume you though. Everyone loves you and you make so many people happy even though you’re sick. I fell in love with you even though you were sick. You be sick doesn’t make you any less of a human. You’re _you_ and you are normal.”

Hyungwon pulls away from him, considering Minhyuk’s words before averting his gaze. “I guess you’re right,” he said in a soft voice.“I might die Minhyuk. You know that, right?’

Minhyuk nodded. “I know.”

“Yet you’re still with me.”

“I am. I always will be, if you would like me to be.”

“You’ll forget about me one day.”

“Even though I just said that you’re normal,” Minhyuk began, “You’re special to me, in the best way possible. I could never forget you.”

Hyungwon seemed to be satisfied with that answer. He picked up the fairy lights, admiring the lights with a smile on his face. A genuine smile. A smile that reached his eyes.

Instead of his chest feeling tight with anxiousness, a warm feeling filled Minhyuk’s heart. Hyungwon’s face was illuminated by the soft yellow glow of the fairy lights, almost making it seem like Hyungwon’s skin was warm and natural like it once was. Those dark circles were still there, ever present as always yet Minhyuk’s eyes were drawn to the smile that reached his eyes.

“I love you so much.”

Hyungwon looked up, his smile growing wider. “I love you too.

“I promise to stay by your side forever, regardless of how the future turns out” Minhyuk said in a soft voice, holding onto one of Hyungwon’s hands. “Just promise that you’re never give up on yourself.”

Hyungwon looked like he might cry again. “I promise.”

Minhyuk knew that things could turn grimm at any time. After all, sudden changes were something that came with illness. Things could go well and things could go bad.

He wanted to stop worrying so much. He wanted to make Hyungwon happy.

The momentarily forgotten fairy lights restings on Hyungwon’s lap begun to flicker. Minhyuk thinks back to the day they untangled them together and the way Hyungwon laughed at Minhyuk’s frustration when it came to untangling them. He could remember the feeling of Hyungwon’s lips against his. It was a day Minhyuk would never forget.

Minhyuk suddenly felt Hyungwon’s hands cup his cheeks, eyes making contact with his before their lips once again met each other’s. The fairy lights between them flickered once more before completely shutting off.

 

//

 

3.

Minhyuk travels up the steps to the hospital’s rooftop once again, like Hyungwon and himself always had.

He sits on the bench Hyungwon always sat on, reminding him of how the wind would weave itself through his white locks on a warm sunny day. It was the old forgotten bench, _their_ bench, the one they had made their own. Minhyuk and Hyungwon had made so many memories on that old forgotten bench that resided on the hospital’s rooftop, memories neither of them said they would forget. They had shared their first kiss on that rooftop, exchanged countless ‘I love you’s and taken hundreds of photos on Hyungwon’s camera.

The rooftop would always be their spot except this time Minhyuk’s hair is black and Hyungwon is no longer their to go up with him.

Hyungwon passed away two months after their promises to each other.

Tears no longer stream down Minhyuk’s face. He cried so much for a long time after Hyungwon’s death until one day where the tears had just stopped. Minhyuk was out of tears and felt nothing but empty.

Minhyuk flicks through the photos on Hyungwon’s camera, laughing at the ones that bring back warm memories and biting his lips at the one that painfully remind him of Hyungwon’s absence. It has been a month since Minhyuk last saw Hyungwon’s smile and three weeks since his boyfriend was laid to rest.

Minhyuk’s heart still hurts.

He will never see Hyungwon’s smile again.

The fairy lights lay next to Minhyuk on the park bench, tangled like they were months ago. They wouldn’t turn on, no matter how hard Minhyuk had tried. Minhyuk couldn’t bring himself to throw them away.

People tell him that he’ll get through it, it will just take time. Their words mean nothing to Minhyuk. Time is doing nothing but making the ache and the emptiness in his chest feel worse. Time is making him miss Hyungwon even more.

Minhyuk had accepted the possibility that Hyungwon wouldn’t reach his next birthday but that didn’t make things any easier. Minhyuk would do anything to see the brunette again.

Minhyuk’s gaze travels over to the railing that surrounds the rooftop. A thought he has found himself thinking recently comes to his mind once more. No one was around. He could do it.

He could jump of the roof.

_Maybe I’ll see Hyungwon again._

Minhyuk finds the image of Hyungwon lying in a hospital room a few days before his death come surfacing to the top of his thoughts. He remembers holding onto Hyungwon’s frail hand and crying as Hyungwon only had enough strength to weakly squeeze his hand back.

_“You kept your promise. We both did.”_

_Hyungwon smiled looking at their intertwined hands. However, his eyes were wet with tears. He hated that he was making Minhyuk cry and hated his body for shutting down on him._

_Minhyuk wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket. “I-I’m so sorry Hyungwon.”_

_Minhyuk listened as Hyungwon let out a soft laugh. “What are you apologising for? For making me happy, from the day we met to...the moment I leave?”_

_“I can’t live without you. I don’t want you to leave.” Minhyuk said, knowing fully well that Hyungwon didn’t have much time left._

_“We’ll meet again Minhyuk,” Hyungwon continued to smile, despite the fact that his body was almost ready to give out. Hopefully it will be when you’re old and grey and it will be somewhere nice instead of this dreary hospital.”_

_Minhyuk could tell that he didn’t want to die. This was hurting him as much as it was hurting Minhyuk._

_“I love you so much. Thank you for everything, Minhyuk.”_

Minhyuk shakes the thought from his head. He can’t kill himself. Hyungwon would never forgive him. Minhyuk knows he should never give up on living. Hyungwon would have wanted him to live the long life he himself never had the chance to live

For the first time in a while, Minhyuk feels tears prickle in his eyes.

One day Minhyuk will be forgotten, just like the rooftop on that hospital. He doesn’t mind being forgotten however, he aims to never forget the warmth of the brunette’s smile.

Minhyuk smiles widely, something that he hasn’t done in a while. He remembers a time where Hyungwon and himself spent the night together, cuddled up together on Minhyuk’s tiny bed. He remembers the gentle kisses exchanged between them and the feeling of more passionate ones. Minhyuk remembers the days of taking photos with Hyungwon and the sound of Hyungwon’s laughter whenever Minhyuk would pull a funny face. Most importantly, he remembers Hyungwon’s words.

_“You make me really happy.”_

_“We’ll meet again…”_

_“I love you so much. Thank you for everything, Minhyuk.”_

The ache in his heart is still present. Minhyuk expects it always will be for a long time still. Minhyuk smiles though, knowing that he’ll meet Hyungwon again one day.

 

**Author's Note:**

> hello! Thank you for taking the time to read this mess lmao. I came up with the plan for this last year and wrote started writing a draft for this. I got a bad case of writers block but eventually I finished it. I lowkey wanted to swap the roles around but I was like no I've gotten this far I have to commit to it. I'm not really happy with this and it's slightly old now but I still wanted to post it. I always have so many ideas for fics but I lack the writing skills to actually gone through with those ideas lmao. I'm sorry if there are any mistakes in it, I'm terrible at proof reading.This fic ended up being longer than I intended it on being but I hope it's still reads okay. 
> 
> This fic was inspired by this changki fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10416390 and eden's album called vertigo Check out the fic and eden's album if you want! The title of this fic is from his song called start//end. 
> 
> Will I ever write a hyunghyuk fic that isn't angsty as fuck? Who knows. Thank you for reading this! It means a lot <3 Feel free to leave a comment about your thoughts on this. Have a nice day!


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